Last year was a tough one, not in the sense of life in general but more about my own emotions and my own stresses, and I made a promise to myself towards the back end of the year that it had to stop. Caring too much about stuff was really inhibiting our ability to travel together and to really suck all the enjoyment out of this mobile life of ours.
I wasn’t quite sure what was at the bottom of all of these concerns, but I knew that it had to stop and here is how I went about learning not to care, and just be awesome.
Meditating when you have kids is not all that easy but the truth is that there is always 15 minutes in the day, even if you may not feel like there are. I asked my partner to look after the kids for a little while and I taught myself to meditate, and it worked really well. Take 15 minutes, sit comfortably on the floor or in a chair, comfortable but fully upright. Start to take deep breaths in and out, counting to 10 as you come in and the same when breathing out. Continue this and start to focus on the movement of the body as you breathe. Soon you will find yourself getting lost in your mind and that is where you gain a real calmness and clarity.
There is a rule which some apply to shopping, where they will pick up an item which isn’t on their list which they want to buy. The idea is that you hold the item for ten seconds and think about whether or not you need it, in most cases the product goes back on the shelf. I decided to apply this to me cares and concerns, and it worked extremely well. As soon as you get that little bit of worry or tightness in the body because you care too much, I would take 10 seconds to really dive into the fear or the concern. In almost all cases I was able to get to the root of it, embrace it, and then forget about it.
I have been guilty in the past of keeping these things to myself but I have been learning that sharing with my partner does help a lot. With this in mind I asked him to let me know when he thought I was giving too much of a damn, and I also gave him some upfront apologies for the comments which I potentially may make when he does let me know, always better to have some in the bag! This actually worked really well and it got to the point where he was able to tell me with a simple look, removing the need for any kind of further conversation.
These are the steps which I took to care less and to just go with the flow, and they not only worked, but they have improved my life and my travels.