Even before I got this blog started I have always written, it started with a diary when I was younger, ran into short stories as I got older and then eventually I began documenting all of these amazing travel experiences which I was having, and I have always been able to completely disappear when I write, switching off from the world, allowing all of the stresses and strains to just flow through the words on the page, and then I had kids.
I appreciate that choosing to have kids whilst on the road and have dreams of being a travel writer were both my decision but I just didn’t realize how hard it would really be to maintain a lifestyle as a traveler and a writer, and look after the kids as mom, something had to give and so I shipped the kids off to a… I jest.
Something which I am trying to come to terms with and manage is the ability to slip seamlessly from mom to writer, a challenge which is far harder than I thought. I am able to disappear to another room, even a cafe if needs be when my hubby takes the kids, but getting myself out of mom mode is far from easy and I spend most of the writing time wondering whether or not they’ve eaten, what clothes he’s put on them and whether or not I should go back ‘just to check’. The point is that moving from one mode to the other is far from easier, something which I am discovering and trying to get through.
I’m pretty sure that the biggest reason why I am not able to give writing the same level of attention as I could before is that I used to just get lost for hours on end, writing about these tales and experiences, recalling the amazing things I have been doing and that is just something which I cannot do with kids. How could I dare to try and lose myself for a couple of hours when they need something from me, or I am stressed about them.
In case you weren’t aware, kids are very much for life and that gives me two choices, I either decide that writing is no longer for me and become the full time mother that I have committed to for the next 18 years until they can go it alone, or I buckle up, put on the big girl pants and find the way to make this work, I hope you’ll all agree, that choosing the latter is the smart move here, and so on we go.