Even Pico Iyer Hears it: Why You Living Abroad Annoys Some People
When I read Pico Iyer’s The Joy of Less on the NY Times, I loved it and quickly passed it on to anyone I could. The general theme of the piece is this:
Though I knew that poverty certainly didn’t buy happiness, I wasn’t convinced that money did either.
He talks about the process as he went through as he left NYC to live a simple life in Japan. But scrolling through the comments, I kept seeing the same things I had heard when I started telling people I wanted to travel (albeit not in such numbers). “Must be nice,” or “Not everyone can afford to just pick up and leave,” or my favorite, “I have a huge house and lots of things and I am so happy (so clearly you are wrong)”.
It’s no comfort to know that even a beautifully written piece by one of the most respected travel writers in the world still catches the author some flack. Was he being smug? Is describing your life the same as advocating for others to change? Is the idea of simplicity somehow an affront to people who can’t afford to be wasteful?
The next day, the NY Times editors posted a response, Simplicity at a Price, which quoted a handful of the hundreds of comments his piece gained in the first 24 hours online. The comments they chose were mostly balanced, but below, the comments section roared to life again.
Why is it that when someone has the courage to try a different way of living, there are always people lining up to tear it down? I think it’s several reasons:
1. The word “happy” is a strong trigger. Is it the self-help books or a need for constant self-improvement that causes us to latch onto the word “happy” like pitbulls? Have we been conditioned to believe that happiness is a single path that can be reproduced for the millions? Perhaps instead of trying to figure out why his path wouldn’t work for us, we could consider what our personal “Japan” would be. It’s not about his sparse home in the countryside or lack of internet access. It’s about what works for him, and his commitment to those values.
2. America is #1. Which America is that? In the cities? In a red state? In the countryside? On the beach? Even within our own country, there are countless opportunities for living very different lifestyles. We don’t get offended when someone says they prefer Seattle over Boston, it’s just a personal preference. There’s no difference when you move abroad, the flight’s just longer (usually).
3. “It would be nice to travel, but…” I’m sure Pico Iyer made plenty of personal sacrifices to attain his ideal lifestyle. Someone didn’t hand him a court summons one day that read, “Please report to Japan. Here are your documents and the funds you’ll need. Someone will be waiting for you and your new life when you arrive in Toyko.” So when people say they’d like to travel, but don’t actually make any plans or changes to make that happen, I know they fall under the “I like to think about traveling one day” group. I lived in that group for a long time. You can graduate, if you want. But in the meantime, let’s not pretend that travel is something that is handed to a few lucky people and you’re just waiting for your envelope.
4. I have responsibilities! While I don’t know Pico Iyer, I suspect he has some too. We all do. Yet, there are families that travel with their young kids, folks who sell their house or scrimp and save to pay off debt. Deciding to live overseas or travel isn’t a switch you flip, but rather a long path beginning with much smaller decisions. Do I want to travel? How long is enough? Where would I go? First comes the dream, then the untangling the responsibilities.
5. Absolutely everything is out of my control. Yes it is. You just gave it away.
So the next time someone gives you a hard time or snidely remarks, “must be nice…” just think of Pico Iyer, shake it off and say, “Yes, it is. I’m so happy.”

















