What You Learn When You Travel Solo
21. Jan, 2009 
30 Comments
Today’s guest post is by Matt Kepnes, from NomadicMatt.com.
People often ask me why I travel alone. They either assume I am too weird to have friends or am just anti-social. But that’s not why I travel alone. I travel alone because of the freedom it gives me. When you travel with a large group of people there are a lot of competing desires and needs that need to be taken into account. When you travel alone, there is only yours. Want to go somewhere? Go! Feel like eating Italian for dinner? Eat Italian. Sleep in if you want. You can do whatever.
Some may say this is selfish but what traveling solo really does is help you figure out what makes you you and what you really like or dislike. Forced to fend for yourself, it is do or die. You have to adapt to your surroundings, meet other people, make your own decisions, and plan your life.
The Buddha once said that the greatest warriors are not those who have mastered others but those who have mastered themselves. So often in our hectic world we don’t have time for ourselves. We get lost in working, commuting, errands, events, and expectations. We rarely examine the inside. Not because we don’t want to but because we can never find the time.
Going out on the road, we are forced to examine all aspects of ourselves- the good and the bad. When I came home after eighteen months away, everyone asked me the same question- “Are you different?” I don’t know. Traveling changes you but slowly, minutely. It’s not one big mind altering event but a polishing of the edges of your personality. So of course I am different. I can already see many of the changes. But many these were incremental changes I never even noticed- and still haven’t.
But having survived life on the road by myself, I gained one thing we all want- self-confidence. If I can navigate foreign countries by pointing, walk up to random strangers and walk away with friends, learn new languages, learn new skills and survive, I can do anything. You realize how capable you really are when you go at it alone.
Years around the world might not be for everyone but everyone should go away and travel solo, whether two weeks, two months, or two years. Just do it. There’s nothing to be scared about. Millions have already done it. There’s nothing better than learning about yourself.
And the worry that traveling solo means traveling alone? A fallacy. I am never alone unless I want to be. With just you, you have two choices: stay alone or make friends. You force yourself to be more friendly and open to others because if you don’t, you’ll be traveling alone. So you talk the vendor at the market, you chat up the locals on the bus, and sit down with the group at the hostel. You make an effort you normally wouldn’t. And, you know what, it’s not that bad. At first, it took me awhile to get over it. I was always a bit shy. What if they don’t like me? But then you realize, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
On a beach in Thailand, I walked up to this group of people and asked to join in their soccer game. A year later, I was at a wedding for two of them. All because I just said “%^&* it!” and went and talked to them.
Don’t worry about going alone. You’ll make it. You’ll find new friends- I guarantee or your money back! And you’ll have the time of their life.
No one ever regrets traveling solo for a bit.
Matt Kepnes is a avid budget and solo traveler who has been spending over two years on the road. You can read his tips and advice at Nomadic Matt’s Travel Site or learn how to do it too at his new site, How to Travel the World.
It has it’s pros and cons. Sometimes it’s depressing to eat alone but that’s just me.
We got to find you a travel partner that you can tag along around the world!
Nice post, Matt. There are certainly pros and cons as ‘mich’ said to traveling solo, but it’s definately something everyone should try at least once. It really forces you to meet locals and other travelers. I often travel with friends, but I’ve also gone at it alone a couple of times. I’ve met lots of people who I’m still friends with years and years later. Ultimately, I think mixing it up is best. Solo, with buddies, with a girlfriend and so on.
Gennaro´s last blog post..Olympians Name Top Snowboarding Locations
Travelling solo is totally the way to do it….there are very few friends of mine I could spend 24/7 with and not fall out relatively quickly, just because of diverging interests.
The point about boosting self-confidence is so true too, it’s one of the things that travel has really helped me with.
Geoff´s last blog post..Choosing the right backpack
Nice travel article, Matt. I totally agree with Gennaro. I like traveling solo but I still enjoy going on vacation with friends and family.
I definitely think solo traveling is something to try at least once. I find it very relaxing to be on my own and not have to worry what everyone else wants to do, eat, etc. Or if you’re traveling w others, I always recommend doing an “afternoon at leisure” alone. It’s a great way to make the trip more interesting and not get bored with your companions : ).
Living solo is great for many of these same reasons. It’s all about freedom of choice – whether when traveling or at home. And thank you for making the distinction between “solo” and “alone.” People often think they mean the same thing, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Tanya´s last blog post..Swedish Invasion
Hi Christine and Matt,
I just found your site because Matt has mentioned it several times to me over the past few days. It seems only fitting that the first comment I make on your site goes to him.
When I think back over the traveling I’ve done, my first thoughts go to those roads I traveled alone between 1996-2003: Argentina, Uraguay, Paraguay, Mexico, China and Thailand. Like Matt, the experiences I had and the people I met while traveling solo have led to unbelievable opportunities, strength and self-confidence, and an incredible sense of achievement. I love reliving those experiences through my travel journals, which are full of promise, hope, fierce independence and a love for anything new and unusual. There is nothing quite like traveling solo.
Then I met John in 2004. We’ve traveled together since then. He’s my best friend and last month, he became my husband. I went through some of my old travel journals from that year while I was home, and they have pretty much remained the same. The only difference is that now, I’m lucky enought to have met someone who has the same dreams as I do. I share all of this with my best friend now. There is nothing quite like traveling with your soul mate, too.
Carrie´s last blog post..January Links and Other Noteworthy News
I agree with everything you said Matt… great post!
Lily´s last blog post..The Beat of An Island
Avid solo travelers often are those who wanted to travel with someone else but couldn’t find anyone appropriate. They force themselves to go anyway because they don’t want to sit home and feel sorry for themselves. Then they get empowered by the freedom, the excitement, the realization that they can do it and enjoy it.
I’ve been taking trips solo, and with friends, for decades and each has its benefits.
I write about solo travel at http://www.boldlygosolo.com and include a category on dining alone, which is a problem for many solo travelers, including Mich above. But it’s certainly not a good reason to stay home!
boldlygosolo´s last blog post..The narrowest "street" in Canada is in Victoria
I completely understand the choice of traveling solo. In the long run, I believe you will learn a lot more by traveling on your own. You don’t have anyone else to depend on and are automatically forced to take more responsibility and ‘reach out’ to other travelers to make new friends as opposed to being alone on the time. When you travel solo for the first time, the whole situation can feel unfamiliar and a bit uncomfortable but after a few weeks on the road, you’ll probably have gotten used to it – even come to love it.
Even though traveling solo is fun and a great experience, I can imagine that it’s not quite like traveling with your soulmate – like Carrie mentioned above.
Erica Johansson´s last blog post..Facing Your Fears
I love traveling solo! I’ve met some of my greatest friends on solo trips that I might not have met otherwise because I already had someone to talk to or hang out with.
Tourism Radio´s last blog post..10 facts about Cape Town in 60 seconds!
Nice article, Matt. This is one of the best you’ve put out there, and that’s saying something as you’re pretty much everywhere I turn right now! haha. Nicely done, this will give the naysayers a real, high quality insight into life as a solo traveller.
Incidentally, what will you do if/when you meet a partner? It will mean giving up that solo lifestyle and adapting. I bring this up, as its exactly what happened to me and though I still yearn for the haven of solitariness I now thrive on sharing great moments with a consistent partner. Finally, good luck with the new sites…
Ant´s last blog post..The Reprint: ‘All in a Days Work’
the bad thing about traveling alone is that you always have to take the pictures by yourself – and that means you are never on your own pictures :/
Am in complete agreement, fantastic post.
I am often called a “people person”, in fact my CV also says it – but to travel alone is something different, you experience everything differently and get to do what you want to do. Yes, it is sometimes lonely, but the people you meet on the way become your friends – sometimes keeping in touch, sometimes not. It all makes the world seem a bit more managable when I have to get back to the day job.
Happy Travellin’
OverlandSi
http://overlandwannabe.blogspot.com
OverlandSi´s last blog post..2 months to drive around Europe
Thanks for the article! Great insight. I’ve never travelled all by myself before as I’m always with friends when we get out of Cebu but perhaps someday I just might pack my bags and fly solo. Though I gotta agree with Carpool guy that it sucks not having anyone else around to take your pics. ^_^
Concise and very true. I like the distinction between solo and alone. I traveled alone for 5 months and had to justify why I decided to do so many times over. Next time I’ll just print this article off and hand it over to the inquirer. Thanks, Matt and Christine
Lindsay Clark´s last blog post..Indianapolis: Eat Drink Play
I resonate with this very much, Matt. Isn’t it funny that in this age when there have never been more humans on the planet than there are now, people are still concerned about being lonely?
It’s so true: you are never alone unless you decide.
There are friends waiting to be made behind every corner.
Byteful Traveller´s last blog post..The Top 3 Exhibits at Chicago’s Field Museum
Great article Matt. Im bookmarking both your site and Chrstines for future reference.
Interesting reading. ive traveled half way across America, been to Argentina, Spain, Rio, and parts of Western Canada. My travels were not as hardcore as what you describe, but have great memories none the less. Ill have to keep your points in mind for my next travel and make it a bit more adventurous. Thanks for the post.
This is a great post Matt. I am currently trying to decide whether or not to go solo or with a friend on my next adventure, and it has been a more difficult decision than I might have thought. A lot of pros and cons to be sure. But I enjoy reading about your solo trips and I think that is the direction I am leaning. Just so many people to meet and things to learn about myself that I think I may miss if I go with others. Anyways thanks for the post!
Sean
Sean´s last blog post..An American’s Guide to Carnival in Rio: What to Expect When you Land
Travel Solo
Pro: you can really get to know the inner you.
Contra: sometimes you regret not being able to share some experiences with someone else.
Jay C´s last blog post..Porcupine Tree – The Sky Moves Sideways [Remastered]
As you can imagine from the name of my blog, I’m in complete agreement that you learn amazing things by traveling alone.
Solotraveler´s last blog post..Traveling alone doesn’t have to drain your wallet
Hey Matt,
really inspiring stuff.
…and awesomely written too.
buddha quote was profound.
i really resonated with your description of how, “when we go out on the road alone, we are forced to examine all aspects of ourselves”. so true. you can’t hide behind the conventions and routines of a home-based life.
for me, another big reason why i love travelling alone is that you’ve got absolute no ties to life back home, or anything else. it’s just you. and the most unexpected things happen so you’re forced to let go and stop wanting to control things – something you sometimes shy away from in lieu of confiding in a companion or compadre if you’re travelling with somebody.
made me reminisce my last trip to india.
really emotive inspiring stuff
stumbled!
regards
alex – unleash reality
traveling solo also allows you to meet more people since strangers almost never get near group travelers… in some way they are more encouraged to get to know people that are on their own or in a very small group (2).
Jay C´s last blog post..John Cale -Paris 1919 (1973)
Hi, I’m traveling alone for the first time in August, I’m going from New York to Los Angeles. It was all very spontaneous, I just woke up and decided to book a flight to LA via Expedia. Now that the trip approaches faster and faster, I was starting to get cold feet, especially since I was going alone. But this post really boosted my confidence and anticipation for my trip. Thanks!
The only thing that’s good in traveling solo is the opportunity to learn more and meet new people/friends, and at the least, you can gain huge self-confidence.