Finding the Words: My Time in Xela
22. Dec, 2008 
24 Comments
Where have I been? Just 7,000 ft above sea level. Living in Quetzaltenango, Guatemala (everyone calls it Xela, which sounds like Sha-La). With a Guatemalan family. Taking 5 hours of Spanish lessons a day. Which is like finding out that yes, indeed, you really do suck.
Warning: This post includes geeky Spanish grammer stuff. Don’t speak Spanish? Don’t worry, neither do I. Ok maybe a little.
Here’s the truth. Learning Spanish makes me feel like I have a learning disability. I learn everything quickly, but this… this is hard.
I can memorize verbs and vocab. I’ve even gotten better at understanding my host mom. But for everything I know, there are huge gaps. I struggle for words that should be easy. How do I say, “I was going to do something, but didn’t”? Do I use iba + a + inf and add a pero, no at the end? What’s the word for table leg or street curb or street sign for that matter? I don’t have enough adjectives, and the ones I have seem to mean something other than the straight translation from my dictionary. Alegre is happy, but it seems to mean pleasant. Bonita is pretty, but I use it too much. Should I use bien or bueno (or buen for that matter)? If someone wishes you a nice day, should I say adios or buenos dias or iqualmente or y usted? Does it matter? Can I use tu with someone I just met that’s younger than me? Should I kiss someone on the cheek the first time I meet them? What if it’s a guy?
And movies. Dear lord. If you want to test yourself, watch a film in Spanish without subtitles. Everyone knows I’m learning here… I am with a family associated with the school. They speak slower. They search for vocab that after 10 years of hosting students, they’re pretty sure I know. But the movies don’t care about that. In the movies, they speak quickly, use slang and expressions, and if I’m lucky I pick up 25% of it.
I watched Diaras de Motociclatas and until the end, I didn’t realize that they were experts in Leprosy. Figuring that out in the closing credits changed everything.
But I’m happy. I am ridiculously happy and I love it here.
It’s also fustrating and it makes me want to quit learning Spanish. That’s how you know you’re really learning… when it becomes so impossible that you secretly wonder if you could just give up on trying to become fluent.
But everyday I learn 5 new words. Really and truly learn and understand them. I become familiar with dozens more. I’m exposed to hundreds. It’s frustrating because I know more than I can speak. In the moment I throw out incorrect conjugations. I use saber instead of conocer or estar instead of ser. Sometimes I just say the infinitive just to get the point across. People aren’t going to wait while I wilt under the gun.
And the city. It’s not traditionally pretty. From the roof of my school, I can see the entire city, but it’s a sprawl of single story buildings. Up close, it can be messy or dirty and in areas just plain lovely. But the gestalt of it is beautiful. It’s difficult to capture in a photo. But I love the way the homes are built around an internal courtyard that serves as a garden or meeting place. I love the street markets with dangerous looking fruit. I’m charmed by the culture shifts. An indigenous woman walks in her traditional wrapped skirt and ribbon braid through her hair with a basket balanced on her head. Her daughter walks with her wearing and Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt and pencil leg jeans.
Here I’m a gringo. It’s not as bad as it sounds. A secretary at the language school asked me what the word in English is for gringo. What do we call ourselves, these gringos. The implication being that gringo is the word for foreigner or American or white. I tried to explain, no… but she wasn’t quite satisfied. Gringo is the word for the people who flood this city every summer, and yeah, maybe that sounds bad, but that’s what we are. Foreigners.
So I’m learning. I’m growing a part of my brain that wasn’t there before, and as I do it, I become aware of this other way of thinking. Talking to my host mom for an hour over dinner, the Spanish floods over me and I stop thinking about what verb or how she ended it or what each words mean. I just understand and I have no idea how, because I’m not doing anything. And when I try to find a word, I look away, searching in this new part of my mind, and sometimes things pop out and I don’t know why, but they’re right. Oh crap, didn’t mean to say that. Oh right, that’s correct.
In two more weeks I’ll be leaving, and I wont be fluent. I cant even measure how much I’ve learned, because from my side I still have the same amount of struggles, maybe it’s just with different things
It’s been good. Hard. A great way to spend December. It makes me rethink alot of things. The only regret I have is: Damn. I wish I had done this earlier. Language immersion is absolutely amazing.
BEAUTIFUL photos, Christine!!
Sounds like an amazing experience. I’ve always been kind of terrified of trying to learn to speak another language, because I started French in a public school immersion program when I was five, and can’t imagine learning any other way… Five year olds have ZERO self-consciousness, and much lower expectations in terms of what they’re trying to get across. The language grows with them.
Spanish is on my list, and this post makes me simultaneously want it more and fear it more!
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Another great post. If it is any consolation to you, I studied French for years (from the time I was 12 until I graduated college) and spent nine months there when I was 19. By the time I left I was reasonably fluent and could certainly understand most of what was said to me. But when we went back this summer, nearly twenty years after I had used the language on any kind of regular basis, I could speak about as well as my 3 year old. This was supremely frustrating, as I could still understand pretty well what people were saying to me.
Makes me think of a Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.
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Would you expect to be fluent by the time you leave South America? I’m interested as I’ll be doing something similar in the future. Sounds like a headache! You said it’s having an effect on your train of thoughts, do you think it’s having an effect on your writing per se?
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This sounds like the Vaughantown programme (immersion English for Spanish people) I frequently take part in in reverse.
Last time I was in Spain, the barman served my beer in an opened bottle. I wanted to ask for a glass but remembered, in that part of the country, ‘vaso’ is pronounced almost like ‘beso’ and I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.
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Sounds great Christine. It must be hard to persevere when they probably all speak fluent English? (am I right).
“The only regret I have is: Damn. I wish I had done this earlier.” – I hear you loud and clear!
Cheers,
Chris
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Fantastic post, and very encouraging too – as a bit of immersion in Xela is on my itinerary soon after the start of my RTW trip next year. My only worry is I haven’t allowed enough time for it – think I may need to extend my planned stay there.
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Christine, your closing reminds me of a favorite quote that is attributed to English novelist George Eliot: It’s never too late to be who you might have been.
I’m so glad you’ve made this opportunity for yourself!
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Find yourself a Calvin & Hobbes book in spanish and pick up some spanish like that. That is how I learned that “com fome” in portuguese means “hungry”, not comfortable (sounds similar when spoken quickly) when I bought one in Brazil. No wonder they’d feed me everytime I said yes.
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Practice do make perfect. If you stay on one spot for long periods of time, language becomes easy. In time, everything will be effortless.
I am saying this since I am bi-lingual and trying to learn another language. I do feel your pain.
Look forward for more adverntures!
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Oh, Christine, I totally feel your pain. I think it’s impressive that you push yourself and remain in a position that’s outside of your comfort zone. It’s truly worth it in the end but it is hard. I pick up things quickly too and have a hard time accepting things that don’t come easily. Like Portuguese. I felt like an idiot and a stupid American the whole time I was in Brazil and it’s not because Brazilians were looking down on me for not knowing the language. It was because Portuguese SEEMS simple but it’s not. It looks like Spanish but the pronunciations are wacky and I was making really weird mistakes and I was so frustrated. It didn’t help that people assummed that I was Brazilian. I left feeling like a failure but I definitly know more Portuguese now than before. I have many friends that came to the U.S. without knowing English and a lot of them picked it up by watching TV, (not movies!) cartoons and comic books as ANthony suggests.
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As someone who recently wrapped up 3 weeks of Spanish classes in Mexico City, I can totally empathize with everything you’re saying. I think it’s important not to view “fluency” as a concrete destination. After all, we fluent English speakers still learn new words. Instead, I like to focus on perseverance and the steady accumulation of words/grammar/etc. Pretty soon, it adds up to something useful.
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As someone who is almost a year into his central/south america trip and who studied in Xela as well, I have some tips for you for learning Spanish.
1. Don’t worry about specific words for everything as that’s going to slow down the conversation. Just describe it as best as you can with the words you know. Street curb becomes “that part in between the street and where people walk”. Sure, it’s long, but if you keep talking, you’ll get there.
2. Straight dictionary translations usually don’t do you that well. Listen to the context of how other people use them. Look at “bestante” in the dictionary at it will probably translate it as “enough” when it really means “plenty”. Not to mention a lot of the words will change meanings slightly in other countries.
3. In central america, you can stick with Usted for 99% of the time. I heard people talking to their dogs in Usted form. In fact, in a lot of places instead of using tu form, people speak in Vos instead.
4. Bien = well (adverb) and bueno = good (adjective). It seems that people only use buen when the adjective is in front of the noun.
5. Most importantly, don’t short-cut yourself. I know it may be easier to throw the infinitive out there now, but with a host family and a patient teacher use the time to practice everything correctly. Temporary solutions tend to become permanent…
Also, Xela has a great expat-run bookstore with lots of Spanish (and English) titles for kids (I can’t remember the name of it now, sorry). I picked up “El Ratoncito y La Motocicleta” (Mouse and the Motorcylce) and learned a lot by reading that.
Sounds like an amazing experience! But don’t ever give up on becoming fluent. Just when you think it’s been forever since you made any progress and just when you think your language skills will never improve…bam! It all becomes clear and your abilities take off. What a great feeling.
I love Xela!! You are a lucky girl!! I studied at Guatemalenisis several years back and had the most amazing time. Loved my host family. One thing I loved to do was go to the cemetary on Sundays—that’s the big day when the families come and groom the plots of their deceased familly members. Have you seen it yet–filled with big beautiful buildings with entire families enclosed. Really an amazing place. Well, have fun in Xela and don’t forget to visit Lake Atalan (look up Maximon–the pagen saint when you are there), and chi chi castenango for a lovely shopping experience and Antigua, a beautiful colonial city…..wow, I’m so jealous….thanks for sharing your trip with us, we really enjoy it. We are going to travel for 8 1/2 months to a year starting July 31, 2009….can’t wait!!
Awesome! I’m going to be in Guatemala this Friday and I’m pumped. And I’m actually even planning to spend the summer there learning Spanish as well. Probably even in the same town. So that is awesome to hear that you are having a wonderful time.
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Congrats on your travels. If you are still there go to languageselnahual.com as you can take great lessons AND volunteer teaching kids English,art or working in the garden. It’s a great way to contribute back to the community in Xela.I volunteer all over the world. If you are heading off somewhere and want some ideaas let me know! If you are staying south go to http://www.volunteersouthamerica.net for LOTS of suggestions!!
Great to hear that you’re making progress – even though it’s frustrating. I felt the same during my first months as an aupair in France a few years ago. Also saw the Motorcycle Diaries, in French with French subtext, and didn’t realize a lot of things until I saw the English version later on. But those times of struggle to understand and make yourself understood are all worth it in the end.
It’s so easy to forget though. As Mara said, returning can be frustrating when you realize that your language skills aren’t what they used to be. That’s why it’s important to speak, or at least hear, the language on a regular basis once you’ve left a certain country. I think a good idea is to keep reading books (or blogs) and watching films without English subtext in the language you’ve studied.
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I’m heading into Xela this weekend for a few weeks of Spanish lessons–touristy Antigua is not the place for me–and it’s good to hear an opinion of the city. I empathize with the challenges of learning Spanish! “Ser” and “estar” sometimes baffle me in conversation, too.
Stop by http://www.languageselnahual.com in Xela. I studied there and volunteered. say hi to Jaime from Joyce. It’s a wonderful place as is Xela!
I’m heading to Xela in October of this year to study Spanish. Can anyone recommend a good school? I know there are many and I’m a little overwhelmed trying to make a choice.
Hi Nancy,
I studied at Casa Xelaju. They also do home exchange, where you live with a family, if you’d like. I liked them a lot. Say hi to Lili for me if you go!
HI,
I just got back from a month in Sucre Bolivia studying Spanish and I know JUSt HOW YOU are feeling. So, when I studied in Xela it was with http://www.languageselnahual.com and I think they’ve just been greating stronger. I stayed with a host family that I loved, volunteered in the afternoons after siesta of course. If you go there, say hola to Jaime, el jefe, for me. Buena suerte con todos!!