Finding What You Love Doesn’t Stop When You Find It
07. Oct, 2008 
31 Comments
If you been following my story to date, you’ll know that last year I found myself in a curious position: finally achieving the career and financial objectives I spent my twenties working towards, yet deeply unhappy. I had a title, a corporate card, a great team and was paid handsomely for my efforts. But I was bored out of my mind. So with the help of a husband who patiently pushed me towards change, I made one of the toughest decisions of my life. I would quit my job, travel full time and start a career as writer and photographer.
There is a reason many people don’t do this. It’s hard. Your gut wrenches at the idea of what you’re giving up. You question yourself for gambling on yourself, placing a bet of your entire future on your ability to make it work. You either have to be extremely confident or at the end of your rope. I was the latter. There’s a reason this site is called Almost Fearless. I was never the gung ho adventuring savant like Virgin’s Richard Branson. I made the leap, but believe me, I thought, “Dear Lord, what have I done!” the entire way.
Fast Forward
Now I am nearly four months into my life redesign. I spent the summer living in Madrid, traveling around Europe, writing, taking photos, and learning so much about the industry, my craft and the idiosyncrasies of half a dozen countries. It was like travel writing boot camp. I’m back in the states, making my way towards Mexico later this month, and I’ve fully accepted my decision.
That’s right. It’s taken me four months to finally accept that this isn’t just some quarter-life crisis.
I recently held a contest where folks told me where they would go and why if I gave them my AA miles. It truly broke my heart. “I’ve never left NH” one person wrote. Even people who personally know me, say, “I could never do that.” They know someone who did do it, who it worked out great for, and yet they prevent themselves from even indulging in the fantasy of traveling.
It doesn’t get easier
So I get it. I really do. I would be on the other side of this blog, right now, reading along — not writing, if I didn’t get so beat down by my job. I am really lucky. Most people have jobs they hate but are tolerable. A mediocre life will trap you faster and better than a terrible one. But the truth is that it’s not as simple as throwing yourself down a path and suddenly everything will be perfect. You have to keep making that same decision over and over again, in ways you wouldn’t anticipate.
- I had offers from advertisers that would make me lots of money but would turn this site into a spammy link farm and me a slave to keywords and SEO.
- I’ve had to push myself not to hide behind my blog and actually put myself out there pitching the big magazines and newspapers– because if I don’t ask, they can’t say “yes”.
- I turned down a writing gig that would have been steady pay, but would have forced me to write the worst kind of internet sludge.
- I had a job offer for double my old salary. I said no, but my heart said, “What! Don’t be Crazy!”
In short, I have to say no to things that would make me cash in the short term, but would undermine my long term goals. I didn’t quit my job so I could trade one bad boss for a host of bad clients.
Managing Christine, Inc.
Not selling out is one thing, but then what? You have to fill your life with things you love. That sounds easy, but there is a certain amount of baggage associated with it. It means quitting things. It means giving up. It means really analyzing your reasons for doing things (is it approval? is it fear?). It means being on constant look out for the slippery slope that is: Making Other People Happy. It means finding your joy.
There are plenty of get happy quick schemes, but the real work comes when you’re willing to fall flat on your face for a better life. It doesn’t get easier, but it’s definitely worth it.
This article is very inspiring. Wish i could earn my living by traveling. Cant take the risk…..
Akums last blog post..Tips for Vacation Home Swapping
Great post Christine. As long as you’re focused on your goals and your vision is within sight, saying no to short term fillers that may seem logical on the surface is always best.
Most powerful piece in your post is realizing the true reasons why you’re doing things and making the decisions you’re making.
A statement that really struck a cord with me was during a recent Oprah show where she says, “can you imagine how many people go to their graves after years of slaving away at some job??”
As much as I love all the things I do (including the fulltime job which allows me to work remotely from anywhere), I’m quickly realizing all those balls can’t stay in the air for long.
Something’s gotta give.
Lolas last blog post..Postcard: Honey?
Thank you for sharing the realities Christine!! One week away from taking that leap myself and one voice says OMG you’re really doing it?! But the major part of me knows this is what I want!! Crazy as it may sound to some folks I know. But I agree with you, it’s always good to remind ourselves of the WHY. I’m glad that after 4 months into your journey, the result is that this wasn’t just a life crisis. I have a feeling that will be my conclusion also, in a few months from November. Great post as usual and looking forward to sharing my adventures with you also! (Am working on blog names!)
Lilys last blog post..Are you prepared for the chill?
It’s important not to sell out. I get those keyword offers all the time but if you lose your integrity, you’ll lose your readers. All we have on this faceless internet is trust. Without it, our blogs are worthless.
but it is work. It’s tough. It requires a lot of time….but once it gets going, it is smooth sailing.
Nomadic Matts last blog post..How to Travel the World, Part 1: Pre-Trip
I’d love to hear more about your experiences Lola! Can I email you?
Lilys last blog post..Are you prepared for the chill?
Lily – absolutely! augustgreen [AT] hotmail [DOT] com
Lolas last blog post..Postcard: Honey?
Awesome!! Thanks Lola!
Christine again – ROCK ON!! You’re doin’ it!!
Lilys last blog post..Are you prepared for the chill?
I always perk up when I see a new post here, and this one doesn’t disappoint. It must be exhilarating to do what you’re doing. And hardscarylonesome too.
Keep going. I have a premonition that you will find something that feels like success on your terms very soon.
jamies last blog post..Win a CARES Aviation Safety Harness!
Oh, yes it is so worth it!
Our story is a little different because we travel the world as a family, we retired early so see things from a 50′s vantage point, and we are going on our third year of our open ended world tour.
Still, I can relate to much of what you say and feel proud of all that you have accomplished! I always call myself a scaredy-cat adventurer, because despite adoring freedom, I also deal with fears and phobias ( claustrophobia,vertigo etc). I am extremely conscientious about wanting to make every choice the best choice too.
Making the decision to take our journey & selling our dream home that we had poured our hearts into building, was THE most agonizing decision of our lives.I could relate to leaving the known behind, but we left a very happy, full life. We were more motivated by our child’s education and having time together as a family. We had to let go of one very fulfilling thing,to reach for an even higher degree of “heaven on earth”.
I wish everyone could find their ultimate “heaven on earth”. I think too many do get caught in very limited lives of routine, sleep walking years away, missing their children growing, missing the love and adventures all around. Few experience much of the world, fewer still get to know it deeply.
Because we have attained satisfaction in our careers and have enough to retire on, we don’t have the issues around careers, so it has been all about freedom and quite easy sense we jumped off our cliff into a life full of adventure and living in the now through travel and deep immersion. We create because we enjoy it and things have just snowballed a bit in that area out of a desire to share. We did not know so many would be interested in our journey & we find we love the creative outlets of writing, photography, video.
But I can relate to managing Christine Inc in our own way. For us it is finding the balance in it all. There are so many opportunities in a life like this, but again time is the greatest luxury. We love volunteering with our non-profit Reach The World that allows us to take disadvantaged school kids with us, but it also takes up a lot of precious time.
We love the people we meet through the internet, but again, there is the time issue. We continue to define how we walk this road in freedom with just the right balance. Perhaps it is never possible to be perfectly balanced, but we are having fun finding that spot for us!
Good luck with your Plans for Mexico! I think it all will get easier and easier for you and yes it is worth it and I for one, think you made absolutely the best decision! Sometimes we must just feel our fear and do it any way! That is what I find myself doing over and over on this journey and it makes me stronger.
The other day I had a severe Vertigo attack as I was walking on a very narrow part of the ancient wall here in beautiful Rothenburg, Germany. With the help of my husband & child I got through it and we enjoyed the rest of the day. A life where one lives in the “now” will have challenges like any other, but is far more rewarding even with the challenges. I know you got to experience a medical challenge with your husband in Madrid, we have done extensive dental work, ambulances and many doctor visits in many different countries. One gains confidence by going through them.
ANYONE can travel the world and do exotic travel like an overnight in the Sahara … even an overweight,gimpy, scaredy-cat, old lady like me. Life is really too short to miss the good stuff, even if you are totally full of fear. When I am at my wall of fear, I remind myself of this acronym for fear…false evidence appearing real.
I love how your posts bring out deep thinking!
Carpe Diem!
Totally true. Most people can do what you’ve done; the only thing holding them back is them. But, as I wrote in a guest post just as you were taking the big leap, once you start living your dream, it’s not as if the challenges and dilemmas of life suddenly stop. That doesn’t make the dream less sweet, though. It just makes it real.
Julies last blog post..Driving Mexico: Mexico City to Oaxaca
Wonderfully put, Christine. The last two sentences really sums it up. I’m hoping that in my few months away from a traditional job I’ll find my passion. (No it’s not “travel writing”
)
Elizabeths last blog post..Ultimate Packing List for a Round-the-World Trip
IT’S HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN’T GONE ANYWHERE.
. Wish you luck, perseverance, health, fun cash flow, courage… you get the picture.
It’s fantastic what you are doing. I am half way there, but not as completely as you are. Keep going, so I can read about it
Fidas last blog post..Rosie’s back home
Wow Christine, this is your most powerful post in a while. Not that I thought that once the ‘Giant Step’ was made that it would be all sunshine and light breezes…but you remind us that it continues to be work and that one must keep ‘checking in’ to make sure that we’re still on the intended path. You continue to inspire me…thank you.
“In short, I have to say no to things that would make me cash in the short term, but would undermine my long term goals. I didn’t quit my job so I could trade one bad boss for a host of bad clients.”
Funny timing on this post – my mom and I were just talking about this at breakfast this morning. I’m staying with her till Christmas, and we both knew this time was my chance to sort of re-charge and build a platform for myself without the pressure of rent payments. (I quit my job a little prematurely, at least in purely financial terms, last spring.) But every day is a choice between “building a platform” in the sense of building up my savings again, versus “building a platform” in terms of laying the foundation for the type of writing career I truly want. It’s a daily struggle to balance the two – and frustrating that they seem to involve two completely different types of work!
Evas last blog post..James Brown – Night Train
Hi Christine.
This is a beautiful post. Thanks for taking us along on your extraordinary journey.
Your post made me think about bravery. It’s been my experience that “brave” can look like a lot of different things. Some people will say that you were brave to quit your job or that I am brave to teach overseas… but sometimes the bravest things that people do are small and humble and much closer to home.
I like that, in the story of your journey, you encourage us to be true to ourselves.
Monnas last blog post..Announcing the Creativity Project
True…. true.
Turners last blog post..The Foreigner
You don’t know how timely this profound post is for me. I ditched a full-time career as a media director because it slowly sucked the joy out of me. I have been a full-time freelance writer ever since and it’s hard. I don’t have a constant paycheck to rely on. I don’t have a company to put in the slot on all those web sign ups. Bankers and accountants look at me suspiciously because I haven’t had a steady stream of income from one source in over a decade. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I travel internationally 3-4 times a year. I’m home when my kids leave for school and when they come home. I don’t have to deal with office politics. I don’t long to do anything but what I’m doing. Yet, as you pointed out Christine, I still have to keep making the conscious decision to do what makes me happy. I just got an offer to be a professional blogger for a major company. I’ve been hesitating because it’s not as much money as I’d like. But in the long run, it will help me on my writer/blogger path. Thanks for reminding me Christine.
What can I say? You are a huge inspiration to me. You have taken the dream and gone after it.
I am doing part-time what you are doing full-time.
Godspeed to you!
~ byteful traveller
twitter: @bytefulcom
byteful travellers last blog post..It Takes A Long Time to Become Fully You
Hi Cristine,
great post, that confirm you are a hard worker on the “having a better life” job.
I have a question for you: what about if you (read me…) had children ? It still the right thing leave some kind of financial security to follow a dream of a more rich way of life ? And rich to me means travelling, learning new languages, knowing other countries lifestyle….
I think this would be a great experience also for the children, but it’s a so hard decision to take in their place !
hi christine, i just recently got converted to your site after reading’s nomadicmatt, and i just wanted to let you know how much this post touched me. i will be graduating in two months, but one year ago, i just came to the realization that what i had worked so hard for all my life wasn’t my true passion. come january, i will set off with my best friend for four months around southeast asia and a little bit of oceania. and although i tell everyone that this is only my graduation gift to myself, it’s really not just that. i want to be able to continually enjoy what i do, but i’m afraid everyone (including my family) will accuse me of taking the easy way out, that i’m too scared to go after my dreams. (i had been a student of math and science, so everyone assumed i was going to do something good with that.) i don’t know. i want to be able to go abroad my whole life and meet people and feel connected with people, but i just don’t know how i can accomplish all that. i don’t have the financial means to do so, and as of currently, i funded the trip using the money i got from my car. but that’s all that i own. i don’t have a house to sell, i don’t have a savings plan, i don’t have anything but my determination. but at this point, i feel lost. i am starting to lose that hope that i could do something from my love for traveling. maybe this will go away when i start on my journey, and maybe i’ll find something along the way. but it’s really great to read stories from people like you who make it sound possible to do something i can truly love doing.
trangs last blog post..good things come in huge waves.
Finding what we love may be the hardest thing we ever do. The sad part is most of us rarely find it. Settling is soul killing.
As usual, a great post Christine.
Chad @ Sentient Moneys last blog post..Debt and Santa Claus
Christine, this post is representative of why I fell in love with your blog in the first place. Your musings about life and your path from corporate hell to travel bliss (and a lot of travel work!) are always right on point. Thank you, and keep ‘em coming!
Tanya
Tanyas last blog post..Art to the Extreme
Flygirl, I hear you completely!
It took me 5 years since the realization that my soul was dying at my job (a prestigious career at a top 5 law firm in the world), to have the courage to leap. This week is the week I’m giving my two weeks’ notice!!
After my 30th birthday I got a better and clearer sense of that phrase people often throw around: “life is short.”
So finding your blog this year Christine was no coincidence for me! I’m at that place you were some months ago, mulling over what to say when you meet the boss to give your notice.
It’s scary sure but I know it’s what I need and want to do! I know the road ahead of freelance writing will be hard but I’ll be spending my energy on something I love.
Reading those of you who have made the leap gives me even more courage.
I can hardly wait till the day this week that I actually say “I’m leaving the firm”!
L aka Global Girls last blog post..Today’s Candy is…LilyLilyShop.com!
Thanks so much for the post. Last year I quit my job (a soul-destroying position working in a busy hospital assisting mentally ill homeless patients), my husband sold his share of his business, and we took off for a journey through SE Asia. It was only by leaving our regular routine that we could tune in to what our deepest desires. Now my husband is in school, pursuing his passion (horticulture), and I have recently completed a business plan to launch my own small business. I’m also working as a waitress – and while once in a while I think, ‘how the heck did I end up waitressing after all of that education and career development?!’ But now I wake up in the morning happy to greet each day, not dreading work. And I have the head-space and the time to pursue my real dreams.
It is scary to make such a big leap of faith, and there is always that nagging worry about money, security, etc. But believe me, it is WORTH it!
Thanks, Christine!
Thanks for saying that Sarah… just what I needed to hear!!! Quitting this week!! And going away for 2 months, hoping that will “Clear my head” to tune in to my true passion… COngrats to you and thanks for sharing also!
LIlys last blog post..Today’s Candy is…LilyLilyShop.com!
There really aren’t any rules.
You can really do whatever you want.
Breathe, breathe in the air
Don’t be afraid to care
Leave, but don’t leave me
Look around
Choose your own ground
Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you’ll give and tears you’ll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be
Run, rabbit run
Dig that hole, forget the sun
And when at last the work is done
Don’t sit down
It’s time to dig another one
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race towards an early grave
This is an awesome, inspiring post. The thing I envy most about your journey is that you have a goal in mind. I quit my job to teach English abroad, but I’m still not sure where I’m headed, whether I’m going to continue traveling, or why I’m doing it.
You’re absolutely right, though: It feels great to have complete control of my life and to know that I’ve pushed myself to do something outside what I would’ve imagined only a year ago.
Daniels last blog post..The view from afar
I’ve been saving this post until a Friday afternoon, when I could sit down and really enjoy reading it… as I knew that I would! I also notice some of the other blogs I follow commenting here, which is fascinating for me!
Christine, I love your writing style, and it’s kinda scary sometimes, cause you really nail it as far as some of the fear aspects I find myself in… as well or better then I could express them myself.
Cheers,
-Skip
As for how to pay for your adventure …
Why not just ask for the part of money. I put myself through a few years of university by asking for the money. At my job, I really just ‘ask’ for the money every month and they continue to pay me. I’ve asked for things my whole life. The cool thing about this world is the whole ‘pay it forward’ approach … Do unto others …
I’m in for $100 a month. That might only last you an hour … or a day … or a week. Cash ‘subscriptions’ to your online newsletter may only help pay for 1/3 of your trip, you’ll have to get the other 1/3 from writing, and maybe another 1/3 for transporting packages across borders?
Not sure, but I’m sure it will all come together – don’t you have a rich uncle? 
Chris.
You go girl and don’t look back! I took the plunge 4.5 years ago in a slightly different way but it’s been a blast.
Have a great trip to Mexico.