The Traveler’s Dilemma: When You Fall in Love With a Place
08. Sep, 2008 
11 Comments
You have big plans to see the world. Then two months into your journey it happens: you find a place you love. A place you don’t want to leave, where you could imagine living forever. For me it was the beaches of El Cotillo, where you drive down a dusty dirt road to the cliffs and peer down on the white sand beach below and the green-blue waters beyond. It’s the Atlantic ocean, but looks more like the Caribbean or Pacific. The black volcanic rocks form dramatic sea walls protecting 200 meters of private beach, where a dozen or so European vacationers silently sunbathe. The water is cold, even in the first week of September, but it’s a refreshing chill that you quickly learn to appreciate. I spent the last week in Fuerteventura, in the Canary Islands, and I didn’t want to leave.
Fuerteventura is my perfect storm: it has beautiful beaches, it’s Spanish, there are very rural undeveloped areas, there is enough infrastructure that I can still find groceries and supplies, it’s cheap, they’re open to foreigners, there is a low crime rate and I quickly made friends. I pictured my life here: living in a small beach house, overlooking the ocean and the neighboring islands. Waking in the morning for some yoga on the beach and a quick swim. A light breakfast at a local cafe, where I know the owners. Writing for several hours in said beach house, a salty ocean breeze and slanted beams of sunlight dancing on the tiled floor. A quick afternoon surf lesson or kite-surfing attempt. Cutting some herbs from my garden and grilling some fresh fish on hot coals outside. An evening cocktail with friends at the local outdoor Cervercia, speaking in Spanish or French or German or whatever language we all share that night. Collapsing on the cool crisp sheets and doing it all over again the next day.
To me, it sounds perfect.
But I have this deeper feeling, tugging me towards more travel. When I started this trip, I just wanted to see the world, to learn another language. Over time, I’ve begun to sense a greater story unfolding and I have to find out how it ends. To stop now, would be to stagnate, to quit before I’ve reached my goal. I have no idea what that goal is or how it will manifest itself, but I know intuitively I have more exploring to do. This week, I go to Dublin. Next week, it’s Marrakesh. This winter it’s Mexico and South America. From there, I dream about India or Sri Lanka or Thailand or Indonesia. But for now, I’ve bookmarked a page in my travels, reminding me that when it’s time to settle down, I already know the perfect place. The question is, how many more will I find?
Have you ever been tempted to stop traveling? What’s your perfect storm?
I love your description of a possible day in Fuerteventura – truly seems perfect.
I have never been tempted to stop traveling. Sometimes I think I travel partly to find the perfect place to settle down. Even though Sweden will always be my home (since I’m born here) I believe that somewhere in this world there’s another place I will fall in love with and call home. Although I don’t know where yet I won’t stop traveling until I find it.
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Great post. I am often paralyzed by the thought, “What if it doesn’t get better than this?” It usually strikes midway through a long trip. I’m always so disappointed when a journey peaks early.
You know what I’m doing with all my perfect, perfect places? Returning to visit with my kids.
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Oh, I’m so glad to hear the Canary Islands are truly that awesome. I’ve never been but I’ve had a thing for them ever since I stumbled across a food blog written by someone who lives there (http://canarygirl.com). It seems like a simple, lovely place where people take the time to appreciate the little things. I hope to go one day. (And the waters in your picture only tempt me more. Gorgeous!)
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Nice post, good dilemma!
You excite me about our time there soon.
If you are like us, you will find many places that say paradise to you.
Part of it is fantasy because spending a week some where or even many months somewhere is not the same as living there. Sort of the difference between the bliss of an amazing first date of instant recognition and the profound love of a 15, 25, 50 year marriage. There are different degrees and stages of love…be it human or place.
But if it resonates with you, why not spend more time there and get a deeper feel for it?
You will probably get more attached, but you will have a more realistic view to base the decision of perhaps coming back some day to settle down or use it as a more permanent or semi permanent base. Always so useful to lean into such things..to enjoy and gather information.
We love the benefits of slow travel and our freedom to pick and choose how long we stay. There do not have to be any time lines for travel, open ended…lets you decide!
When we fall in love with a place, we change our tentative schedule and bask in it longer. Why not spend a month or two or six? Move everything else up, it will still all be there. It was crazy for us to spend a month in Santorini, or at the beach in Barcelona….but we did it any way and were so enriched. We stayed even longer in Croatia and in a tiny village in southern Spain.
We adore our little white village where we winter. Our life is not unlike your fantasy perfect day there ( nor was it much different at our home in California with our vineyard and ocean views). It was hard to leave both, but still they live in our hearts, even when we are not there.
Our African long stay ( our next stop) calls to us and excites us, yet we have added another year onto Europe because we do not feel complete here yet. There is the “idea” of what is next and then there is living in the “now” and trusting your gut instinct.
Nobody sets your schedule but you. Fall in love as much as you like, travel when and where it suits you. I think the balance between traveling and staying unfolds naturally. We feel like we are starting to get our rhythm as permanent travelers with the world as our home.
There are sooooo many places on earth to love, I would hate to have to only pick one. There is more to love than there is time to see in one lifetime!
The same has happened to me whe I went to Brazil, and since I ended up going to Rio almost every year, now I’ve taken the decision to move there directly in a couple of years time.
I live in London and I love it, but last time I went to Brazil (last July) on my way back to Europe I literally cried all 12 hours on the plane. From that moment I’ve solemnly decided not to go to Brazil on holiday anymore, as I am not able to leave without a return ticket. So the solution is that I will relocate and start travelling from there. I won’t stop travelling, I’ll just change directions…
Well, what you describe sounds a lot like my perfect storm as well. Where we are living right now in and around Manzanillo Mexico is very similar. We have taken a sabbatical from New York life and relocated to our perfect storm to explore the culture and place more in depth, discover the people and their lifestyles, and of course share it with others.
I never plan to stop traveling though, eventually this chapter will come to an end. Like you and soultraveler said there are so many amazing places on Earth that say paradise and I want to find them. All of them.
Good hunting!
If I am able, I stop and stay for awhile. I found many places I have loved and have ended up staying months at quite a few them. Amsterdam and Thailand are two good examples. Cambodia is another.
Sounds like you found your beach.
I think the more you travel the more you aren’t going to want to stop. You and Drew might have to consider working from the road. Though, traveling with dogs can be pretty hard….the next time you find a good place, just stay there…
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1. San Miguel de Allende, Mexico
2. Real de Catorce, Mexico
3. Playa del Carmen, Mexico
4. Zihuatenjo, Mexico
5. Valparaiso, Chile
6. Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
7. New York City, USA
8. Paris, France
9. Budapest, Hungary
10. Dublin, Ireland
11. Sevilla, Spain
12. Santiago de Compostela, Spain
13. Florence, Italy
14. The Cinque Terre, Italy
15. Ottawa, Canada
I fall in love a lot. I can’t really stay longer as I’m a teacher and my vacations have a firm end date. So I go back to these cities and towns whenever I can… to renew the love affair with place. I take a lot of photos. I blog about my loves. And I keep traveling because I know there are many new loves out there, just waiting to be discovered.
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Unfortunately, I have to stay in one place until med school is finished, but every time I travel, I just want to keep going. I love the new experiences and meeting people randomly that stay friends. I love being able to say, “I got these boots in Praha”. I like souvenirs that I use everyday.
I’ve moved on average every three years between countries. I usually like to set up a home base and then travel from there. This gives me time to learn the language and to get to know the culture intimately – the values and beliefs that shape the way people live. When you find a place you love, the honeymoon stage is great, but so is making it out of a down period which will inevitably arise no matter how wonderful the place.
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I listen, over time, to hear if a place keeps calling me back after I have moved on — and why it does.
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