This is part 4 of 5 on a series about my journey. You can read Part 1 here: Escapism: the Dirty Word that Keeps Us Doing What We Loathe and Part 2 here: Making the Time and Money Connection and Part 3 here: The New Career Shakedown. Stay tuned for Part 5 next week.
“My question, and this may be incredibly stupid, is how do I find my passion? I know most of the things I like, but I have no idea how that translates into a career I can use to support my wife and I while she’s in school, let alone be some kind of success at it.”
I received this comment in an email recently and it‘s a great question. In my last post, The New Career Shakedown, I talked about all the things I considered doing as an answer to my own question: “If I could do anything, what would I do?” At the time, I explored many different options from starting a small business to going back to school, before I finally realized I was ignoring what I really wanted to do (travel and be a writer/photographer). I didn’t think it was practical, it felt a little scary, and I wasn’t sure I could pull it off.
This process for me was over the course of about two years. Now I know there are people who naturally know exactly what they are meant to do. My husband knew since the fifth grade that he was going to be an artist. For the rest of us, figuring this question out can take a little bit more work.
Forget about money
Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting you live on the street or marry into money. But for the purposes of answering this question, put the concerns about money aside. For years I thought about writing, but the logic loop went something like this: I love writing. I love travel. What about money? Writers don’t make enough. Travel is expensive. Forget it, it’s unrealistic.
I didn’t give myself permission to truly entertain the notion, because I was jumping ahead to the money part. What I should have been thinking was: I love writing. I love travel. What kinds of things would I write? Where would I want to travel to? What can I do now to prepare myself for such career…etc. After you take the time to think through whether this is something you want to do, then you can start figuring out ways to make it work financially.
Assume you will do it
There is a big difference between thinking about it, and planning to do it. If you are just thinking about it, initial obstacles become reasons why you can’t do it. If you are planning to do it, those same obstacles become problems you have to solve. I think we avoid committing to an idea, because we don’t want to waste our time, look stupid or do something wrong.
How to trick your brain out of this self defeating loop? Here’s what you do. Go out your front door, and with all the bravado you can muster shout, “I am a [insert your dream career here].” Feel good? Great! That is all it takes to accomplish something you want to do. The decision to do it. I can’t underline this enough. If you are wavering (like I did on all five of those careers options on the last post) then you‘ll just swim in circles. Do you think Jeff Bezo, founder of Amazon.com said, “I think I’d like to start and online bookstore?” No. He just did it. He rented cheap warehouse space and used old doors as desks–he didn’t have reasons he couldn’t do it (like a lack of desks), he had problems to solve. The only difference between the “thinkers” and the “do-ers” is that little decision they make. The thinkers say, “should I?” and the do-ers say “I am”.
Give yourself a chance
Dear perfectionists, oh how the world owes you a debt of gratitude. You make sure our accounting ledgers balance to the penny and our trains run on time. But please do yourself a favor and give yourself permission to be really terrible at something. I found this piece hard, because I wanted to research, prepare and practice my way into eternity. Leaving the corporate world, where I knew my role, and what would happen day by day to take this leap, where I don’t know anything, has been a strange kind of culture shock.
The problem is the “success myth”. We read stories of successful people and they are full of daring decisions, intelligent innovations and amazing accomplishments. What we don’t hear about is those first day, months and years. You’ve got to start somewhere. I just prefer to roll up my sleeves and jump in. The water is fine.
Get a jump start
I’m assuming you have some ideas about what you like, but here are some quick ways to shake it up and get more ideas:
- Free write for 30 minutes about things you like to do.
- Look up your look community college and peruse the adult education section for things that interest you
- Make a list of every career you can think of that is interesting to you. List reasons why you would like it. (Don’t list negatives, that’s your internal critic throwing obstacles at you before you get started)
- Find blogs and websites dedicated to areas you are interested in. Online professional groups can give you an insight to what it is really like.
- Go to a bookstore and read (don’t buy) books about your field (you can usually get a lot from skimming, and you’re just in the idea phase right now)
- Think of the most outrageous careers out there. Astronaut, crocodile wrangler, pastry chef. Then consider if you could instantly learn how to do it, and had unlimited funds, would you like that as a career?
- Take a sick day. Use the time to reflect. (Often we’re to busy to even think about what to change).
What else would you add to this list?
June 20th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Christine-
To your list, I’d add: get in touch (just as the person who e-mailed you did) with other people who are in various stages of finding out what their bliss is and living it. This is critical– creating a community of like-minded folks who have broken out of the little box. These folks can validate you, provide support, and remind you that you’re not crazy. They also share energy… I spent part of yesterday chatting with someone who’s living her wild crazy dream, and when we finished our conversation, I had so much energy I got three times more done that I would have otherwise. The power of community is so profound.
Julies last blog post..What If You Said Yes?
June 20th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Know what you love now will change later. That’s my addition to the list.
Elizabeths last blog post..Dear Housekeeping: Please Don’t Change My Towel
June 20th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Great suggestions Christine, and very true. It’s the negatives that popped into my head first when thinking about our RTW trip. But once I looked at them, one by one, and broke them down I realized that there are no negatives!! I seriously can no longer think of a reason why we can’t/shouldn’t do this.
I like the ‘just make the decision’ theory. I am someone who will mull over all portions of a decision but, once the decision is made, I’m done with that part and just move forward. I am working on reducing the ‘mulling’ portion and moving more quickly to making the decision so that I can spend more time on the doing rather than the deciding.
Is it not one week today to your departure? You must be vibrating!! I am very excited for you - I hope you will share your thoughts and feelings with us as the next weeks play out.
Cheers,
G.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
This is something I’ve been struggling with my entire adult life. I’ve co-founded and run two businesses; the first was based on something my partner and I knew how to do and knew we had paying clients for, and the second was based on something we loved doing. In both cases, we overextended ourselves, and didn’t achieve our wildest dreams of success. We wound up selling each business for more than we expected, but it left us feeling a bit crumpled. So I would add to this list: have some sort of financial safety net in case things don’t go exactly as you planned. Because they won’t! This safety net could be used during lean times, or it could be invoked when you decide your goals have changed. (Elizabeth is totally right: what you love *will* change, probably several times throughout your life.) Don’t let this reality check stop you from taking that first step. And don’t be afraid to fail.
I’m in the process of figuring out what I want to do next, and sometimes I get down on myself for not having all the answers and going through this “What Color Is My Parachute” process *AGAIN*. But fortunately we live in a world where you can try just about anything on for size. Nobody expects you to pick your career in high school/college, follow the same path for your entire life, and retire with a gold watch. If you’re even considering going off the traditional path, surround yourself with other inspiring, supportive people, and GO FOR IT!
June 20th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Wow!Another much needed kick-in-the-butt piece! I put a giant check mark to all of these self-defeating “issues”. Most especially the overthinking and perfectionism part sections. When I was traveling, I was more a “doer” and didn’t think too much but got a ton done, but now that I’ve done my “dream” of living abroad, I’ve been stressing over the “what’s next” and trying to get closer and closer to all my other goals that all the worrying about getting it “perfect” and worrying about money has led me farther from my dreams…I would even get so anxious that I would create a “list” of all my plans and things I needed to do but it would get too long and I’d over analyze everything until I would just freak out and not be able to do any of it. Great tips! It’s a good push! …ok, I’m off to DO stuff now…really, seriously…hahahahah
June 20th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
This series of posts is really good. What I would add to the list:
1) Stop planning and do it. Face it, you will never know everything, which means there will always be risk.
2) The ability to positively accept multiple failures is the greatest attribute for success.
3) Know your new great job/business/career will require more work than your old crappy one.
@ Sonia - I must disagree with part of your statement, “Nobody expects you to pick your career in high school/college, follow the same path for your entire life, and retire with a gold watch.” This is exactly what 90% of the country expects. If you try something new you will be ridiculed, even after you have success. Just ask Jeff Bezos, as Amazon.com was ridiculed up until 2 years ago by many on Wall Street.
Chad @ Sentient Moneys last blog post..Is Popeye Out of Spinach?
June 20th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Wow… this post really hits home.
I’m constantly coming up with and writing down new ideas. Some I try, some never get looked at again. Every time I try something and it ends up not fitting or feeling quite right… I look at it as a learning experience, instead of failing at that thing. All of the little lessons are getting me closer to the ultimate goal… doing something I love and feel great about!
Look forward to Part 5!
Loris last blog post..Virgin America Deals
June 21st, 2008 at 10:44 am
I think the ‘assume you can do it’ bit is huge. I have always figured that if someone else can do it, so can I. Within reason of course but when I hear people say ‘wow, I would LOVE to be a writer’, I think ‘then do it!’ If you’re not willing to do something creative like that as a hobby, then how are you going to convince someone to give you a job at it?
I think if you do and do and do it and keep geting better and keep putting yourself out there, eventually you’ll garner some attention from someone. I’m not a great writer by any stretch of the imagination but I knew I wanted to make a living from travelling. A few lucky breaks and a lot of hard work later and I’m one step better than a travel writer - I’m essentially a self employed travel writer. I don’t have anyone telling me where to go, giving me deadlines or telling me what to write about. If nobody wants to hire you, create your own platforms. Do things yourself and see where it takes you.
If someone isn’t giving you an opportunity, I say make your own opportunity!
I also think some people let the idea of their dream job defeat them before they even go for it. The attitude that there’s so much competition, or that it is too good to be true or whatever stops people from trying sometimes. I’m of the attitude that someone has to do these jobs, so why not you?
Kirstys last blog post..Taking the Show on the Road to Southern China
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:49 am
For me, the “Give Yourself a Chance” section hits home hardest. I hate to fail, and I have to admit that I fear failure. It’s taken me a long time for me to give myself permission to fail. I spent years thinking about writing my first freelance query but never sending it because it was never “good enough.” Then finally I did, and it was accepted. I’ve gotten lots of rejections since, but I’ve learned to take them along with the successes. But still, whenever I set out to do something new, I have to battle the “what if I fail” excuse.
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