I am sitting on my couch in the middle of my dining room writing this, nursing a very sore body. This weekend we gave away and sold everything we own. Our king sized bed, 30 boxes of books, the guitar I meant to learn how to play but never did, even our Panini grill and espresso machine (and so much more). I thought it would be hard to lose the things my husband and I collected in the past eight years, but you know what? It was actually very freeing. The act of physically moving these things out onto the sidewalk, setting prices and then watching as strangers walked away with even the most personal of our possessions, was a strange kind of relief. Even as I reflect back now on what I might miss, I’ve come to realize just what I’ve gained by letting go. Here are 10 Unexpected Costs of Owning Things:
1. The things you own have a cost of ownership. Even if you don’t use it, you’re paying for it. Over the years we’ve lived in bigger and bigger places. When we first met, I was renting a single room in a house. Everything I owned fit in the 15X20 space. Our first apartment was 2 bedrooms and 700 sq feet. When a few years we graduated to a 1300 sq ft house with 3 bedrooms. Soon it was the 2000 sq ft home that we had to buy more furniture to fill up. It seems insane now, to pay for larger and larger living spaces just to store our stuff- but that’s what we did. Over the years, we could have saved thousands on housing and utilities, just by downsizing our lives.
2. You are carrying around the emotional weight of the things you don’t use. I always wanted to play the guitar. Six years ago, my husband bought me one for my birthday. I learned “Leaving on a Jet Plane” and “Eight Days a Week”, got some blisters and promptly gave up. But the guitar stayed with us, and periodically I would feel bad about not playing. Now my guitar has found a home with a drummer who had been looking for a cheap ax for months. And now I can finally admit it: I am not interested in learning the guitar; I don’t want to spend my time focusing on that particular skill. It’s ok; there are lots of other things I am interested in. And now I can just let that aspiration go.
3. You don’t learn your lessons on overspending, because you never face reality. You stuff the pair of shoes you never wore into a closet somewhere and forget about it. While I was pulling storage containers out, I was amazed at how many things I owned but hadn’t used. I think I had 4 different unopened blushes (makeup). I kept putting them away under the bathroom sink and forgetting about it. But I wasn’t learning my lesson. I wasn’t connecting the fact that I bought something I didn’t need, so I wasn’t getting the message to change my habits.
4. You let yourself buy status symbols—whether an exhaustive book collection, to show off how smart you are, or artwork from around the world to prove you have traveled, you let yourself belief these tangible proofs are more important than the fact that you have read a lot or you have traveled a lot. This will shift your priorities slightly, as the acquisition of these items becomes a priority in itself. What if you didn’t outwardly give the world clues about who you are?
5. You use objects as comfort. I admit it, I’m a secret nester. I like building a cozy home, and filling it with things that make me feel happy. It’s interesting though, because even though we’ve had a guest bedroom for the last 3 years, we rarely have guests overnight. I think it just makes me feel good to have it, to walk past that room and smile at the coordinated duvet and pillow shams. But the truth is, you don’t need those things to be happy. It’s a wicked habit, and I can’t help but think I’ve been influenced by a lifetime of Pottery Barn magazines.
6. You are weighed down. If you can’t carry it, you can’t travel with it. The whole point of selling this stuff is so we can move abroad and travel as we please. As we were buying it though, we weren’t thinking, “Lets buy this, so we can be even more chained to our possessions. Maybe we should get two, that way we can be landlocked even if one breaks!”
7. The more stuff you have the more blind you become to it. There were so many books, DVDs drawers full of stuff that I hadn’t remembered seeing for years. And yet there they were, in plain sight for years, just obscured by the details of so many other things. We didn’t appreciate what we had, because there was just too much of it!
8. If you are overspending, you will never see that money again. When you sell off your stuff, expect the going rate to be 25% or less of what you spent for it. We have spent thousands over the years and the whole lot when for a couple hundred bucks. Ouch.
9. Each object has a path before you bought it. We don’t often think about where things come from, but everything that you buy has been manufactured somewhere. When you think about the never used guitar that was made in China, by someone making pennies a day, shipped overseas, using lots of gasoline, driven across the country to a store near you, just so it could sit in your closet. At some point it must occur to us that we’re not just wasting our money, but the planet’s resources as well.
10. You like the idea of owning something more than the reality. For years I held onto all my books, because I really liked owning them. But two things happened this weekend. First, I realized I hadn’t opened many of them after the first time I read them. Second, I was passing on my favorite books to other people, who were excited to read them. Instead of keeping a great book for my collection, I will now always pass it on.
What are you some ways the things you own, own you?
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:51 am
I sold my ancient Legos from an era long gone in my life. Sucked, but it got me $68! Now to tackle that trombone and Star Wars collection…
I’ve gotten rid of clothing that would just take up space. I would never wear that shirt or pair of jeans. So begone with them! Getting use to wearing the same stuff, ’cause overseas lugging a load of crap I never wear here but THINK I may need over there, uh, isn’t going to happen.
Indeed, the more you have the more you want. So don’t be like Lot’s wife and look back at what you’ve left behind. Forget that crap! It is all vanity. Need a trombone?
Anthony Connors last blog post..Calling Rio and the Enigma of Paulo
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:39 pm
What a great post! I just found this site and am trying to catch up on the backstory and other great nuggets of wisdom.
My boyfriend and I are planning to leave in September for our RTW trip, and I’m having a hard time convincing him to let go of (at least some of) his stuff. Unlike me, he’s never traveled for an extended period of time, so I think he’s just gonna need to get out there and see that we really don’t need as much junk as this consumer culture convinces us every day. But that first step’s a doozy!
BTW, a great site that takes a deeper look at your issue #9 above is The Story of Stuff: http://www.storyofstuff.com. It’s done in a lighthearted way but really makes ya think!
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
I wish we had done like you did!! We are taking off soon (6 days - YIKES!) to ride our bikes from Alaska to ARgentina and expect to be on the road at least 2 1/2 years. I wanted to get rid of EVERYTHING!! However, we have a barn behind our house where we can easily store our stuff while we rent out the house, and my husband wanted to keep anything we might, possibly use in the future - rather than buying it again once we get back. While I admit there is a bit of wisdom in that decision, it would be kind of nice to pare way, way back and simply live without a bunch of stuff once we get back.
http://www.familyonbikes.org
June 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 pm
“Things you own end up owning you” - Tyler Durden
The shiny new car that you park WAAAYYY in the back of the parking lot so it doesn’t get scratched.
The home that you mortgage - that you become a slave to. You put up with being demeaned at work so you don’t lose your stuff.
You’re not your khakis!
Great article BTW!
June 2nd, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Anthony: No doubt! My husband nearly wrestled a man to the ground when he offered $15 for his comic book collection. And the trombone? Ebay is your friend.
Sonia: If you’re doing a RTW trip soon, he’ll learn quickly enough how much extra stuff will slow him down. Sometimes nothing is better than personal experience. Good luck on your trip!
Familyonbikes: I’m so excited for your trip. I can’t wait to read about it. And truth be told, if you have a barn to store stuff and you can rent out your house, then there’s nothing wrong with storing stuff. The key is not to buy it in the first place!
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Will: You got the reference, yay! I was beginning to lose hope
I actually sold my DVD copy of Fight Club on Saturday, in fact the entire day felt Tyler Durden-esque, as I convinced people to take my crap and give me money.
I have to admit that the idea of actually blowing up my apartment is somewhat appealing.
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:25 pm
I have a comic book collection that will be worth me until its worthe something or a die….i think the latter will happen first.
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Matt: Then you won’t be too happy to know that I chimed in and said, “We’ll take it!”
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:51 am
George Carlin - About our stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac
Verry good stand up about stuff what we have.
pizis last blog post.."formula for the modern weed comedy began to take shape: Combine bud, beer, and boobs, mix with a…"
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:52 am
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June 3rd, 2008 at 7:19 am
Found your site through Reddit. The funny thing is that I am at the same stage as you are, except that it took me ten more years (kids will do that to you). I still have 3-4 years of purgatory before they are done with school but, in the meantime, we are getting rid of our useless stuff and looking at alternative carreers (The Canadian Space Agency is looking for new astronauts, both my wife and I applied).
Fortunately I was able to travel a lot which is why I am pretty sure that your banner was taken on Waimea Bay.
Andres last blog post..Zwinger Museum (2)
June 3rd, 2008 at 7:22 am
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Your comment got stuck in my filter because it got marked as spam. I released it, so now it’s posted.
June 3rd, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I’m glad so many people are wising up to the fact that materialism isn’t good for anyone… keep up the good work, I love your blog!
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I second the new awareness on materialism. It’s still not anywhere near the level it needs to be. Maybe if the economic downturn is bad enough it will leave a lasting mark. I’m always tempted to sell of the last bit of stuff I have, pack up my Jeep and just go.
The one type of item I won’t be getting more of is furniture. I’m going all bean bags.
Chads last blog post..Rules of Thumb are Useless and Dangerous to Your Financial Future
June 3rd, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Andre: Great site, amazing pics.
The header was actually taken at Crater Lake Oregon, which I’m told is incredibly cold, and that guy leaping into the water is pretty brave considering the frigid waters he’s about to plunge into. It wasn’t taken by me, but this guy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/powderruns/
June 3rd, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Han: Thanks! I wouldn’t call myself entirely unmaterialistic, but I’m getting there…
Chad: Bean Bags! Excellent. I’ll have to consider that…
June 4th, 2008 at 7:25 am
Well I only have about 50 books. I could get rid of half of them I guess, but there are some books that you just like reading over and over again, and had an important effect in your life, so you want to keep them.
Besides that, I also collect some old computers, which again are a hobby of mine, so I guess it would be hard to get rid of that They were worthless when I got them, and they’re worthless now, so it’s not a matter of money wasted there.
Having said all that, I’m already living in a foreign country (I have been here almost three years, so it might soon be time to move).
June 9th, 2008 at 12:59 am
Wow, this article is perfect for me right now. My husband and I are cleaning out our house, one room at a time. I got rid of so much in my closet that I’m down to just a couple pair of jeans (with one for doing work around the house), a few blouses, a few tops and a couple suits and dresses. It feels so good to be rid of all of the junk I wasn’t wearing. This weekend we did the office, and boy did it feel good to throw out, give-away and re-organize.
I will be reading the archives of this blog to catch up. Love to travel and get rid of stuff.
Thanks for such a great post!
Loris last blog post..Losing A Passport… And Getting It Back (Replaced)!
June 9th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Getting rid of STUFF is up there on the scale of great things to do just below finding a huge tax break that gets you a big refund. We went to India for a year. Got rid of stuff before we left so we could rent out the apartment. Got back from India. Half our luggage never got through customs. Our apartment renter threw out all our old furniture and stuff. We had to start all over again. Re-furnished the apartment for a couple hundred dollars by buying on the net. Any time I wanna read a book I download it (if it’s a classic, free from gutenberg.org). It’s been almost a year since we got back and about the only thing we buy is food. We’re not doing our share to support the consumer economy, but we’re happy!!!!!
newyorkdude
newyorkdudeinindia.blogspot.com
June 11th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I wanted to let you know that your post inspired me to think about the emotional ties I have to all the junk around my house! I wrote about it on my blog here: http://lamberini.blogspot.com/2008/06/emotional-ties.html
Thanks for your writing… its really good stuff!
Ambers last blog post..Emotional ties
June 11th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Christine- very well thought out and written post! You inspire us! Our family of five is currently undergoing a huge downsize as well, not to travel (yet!) but to just live more simply and cheaply. It’s freeing, healing, and bonding for us!
Hope your soon-to-be travels are wonderful and rewarding.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:00 am
My husband and I have been married 8 years (second marriage) and we each brought “stuff” to the marriage. We have five girls between us but now, we have a mostly empty nest. For past 8 years we have spent every summer going up to the mountains every weekend. This year, we are staying home and working around the house. We cleaned out our basement, attic, and garage — and now they are EMPTY. We are planning to paint and finish off the basement.
I love owning things. I am def not ready to get rid of as much as you have — but I can see myself downsizing a bit.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Amber– Thank you! And your post is lovely. I look forward to seeing more from you…
Sarah– Thanks so much! Nice Jeweler site you have!
Rachel– Good for you. And unless you’re going to be living out of a suitcase, I don’t think everyone needs to downsize like we have. But I will tell you it feels great!
June 21st, 2008 at 10:16 am
One of the best tips I’ve ever read years ago was to take pictures of gifts or sentimental objects. The idea is to keep the photo as a memento rather than keeping the object itself that you don’t use or don’t have room for. The tip was in a book that pre-dated digital cameras, but now we don’t even have to store a physical photograph anymore.. it can be kept on a disk.
I wish I knew what book it was from. Ironically, my mom gave it away.
June 21st, 2008 at 6:43 pm
# 7 really struck a cord with me:
7. The more stuff you have the more blind you become to it. There were so many books, DVDs drawers full of stuff that I hadn’t remembered seeing for years. And yet there they were, in plain sight for years, just obscured by the details of so many other things. We didn’t appreciate what we had, because there was just too much of it!
I recently moved from Toronto, Canada to London, England. I must admit that moving overseas is a great way to determine what you have that you don’t really need. All those books I’ve read once and will never read again, DVDs that I once watched half-heartedly and then threw in the corner, clothes that I wore once but didn’t throw out just in case. Nothing like the cost of overseas shipping to figure out what is worth keeping.
What really shocked me, though, was the cost of getting rid of things. I knew that buying couches, dressers, beds, TVs, etc. had a cost when purchased. I never knew they had a cost to get rid of. Most of my furniture was 10 year old IKEA stuff, which had $0 value in the open market. The best one could hope for (even with Craigslist) was that someone could pick it up for free. What I couldn’t give away for free, I had to pay some guys $400 to come and cart away!
Remember that - it doesn’t just cost to buy stuff, now it costs to throw it away too.
Greg
Greg Wessons last blog post..The Long and Winding Road to an Elementary Address
June 27th, 2008 at 6:27 am
We’re a couple of years further on than you - we’ve been living out of backpacks since March 2006. We lived out of a car all of February that year after we sold everything. Well, I have to admit it wasn’t everything. We have one box of good wine aging at my father-in-laws and about 30 boxes of books. We couldn’t bring ourselves to part with them, but the storage is free.
Now I think back, I probably would have got rid of most of them. Not the wine, though. Sell the lot, people: leave nothing behind.
I’m going to mention this post on today’s Indie Travel Podcast…just going to record now.
July 27th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
1. The things you own have a cost of ownership.
- the traveling experiences, that you will not loose ever.
July 29th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
I enjoyed this post because I am going through a major downsizing. I live in a 2-bedroom apt in Las Vegas, a city I moved to in order to earn my PhD. My place is expensive, but it’s Vegas, baby! I wanted an impressive place with a lit pool and a guest room for my friends and family. But after awhile, as I lived paycheck-to-paycheck, I had to admit that I had way too few guests to justify paying for - and filling- a two-bedroom apartment. The price of air conditioning, car insurance, and the stress of living for the next paycheck were making it hard to actually live.
I decided to give it all up and simplify my life by moving my 43-year-old self into a condo owned by two friends in the town next door. I have sold my major furniture and “Freecycled” (freecycle.com) the rest. By exchanging 1200 sq. feet for an 11×11 room I am saving over $400 a month and breathing a lot more easily. I have vowed to live more simply and to use my money for things that matter more: savings, charity, and life experiences that actually have meaning- not material things. I am quite happy with owning only a car (necessary for my job and school in this region) and the few things that can fit into my room. I feel unburdened and free now!
August 13th, 2008 at 6:48 am
It’s very useful.
You’ve done a good job
Many thanks
——————————————
moving overseas
August 13th, 2008 at 11:16 pm
I live in a 20×20 studio apartment (size includes kitchen and bathroom). I own very little and it’s a great thing knowing that I could pick up and leave whenever I want with very little holding me back. Heck, if the apartment burned down I wouldn’t really have much to worry about either.
Well - all except for the cat. The cat owns me.
August 14th, 2008 at 4:07 am
I sold my cat to a cat collector and I sold my doobage to a doobage collector.
August 14th, 2008 at 5:40 am
I’ve always fancied the idea that I’m not tied to my material possessions and yet I sit here, knowing full well that I’m so wrong it’s unbelievable. I’ve got a couple of shelves of geeky/computer books that I don’t need now that I’ve read them, CDs I rarely listen to, a couple of pair of sandals I bought for that “perfect summer” (I’m British, there’s no such thing) and piles of assorted crap stuffed in cupboards and drawers.
I have no idea how to even start getting rid of it all.
Jems last blog post..Age Is a Bullshit Excuse
August 14th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Should start a list of the essentials e.g. chair, tv, phone, etc… and then everything else should go on the rent-as-required list e.g. snowboard, suitcase, books
Maybe start a “sharers” club. $20 a year each plus you get to chuck all your possessions in. The more you put in the more points you get. Points get you loan of whatevers in the pot e.g. snowboard, technic 1210s, wedding suit. You can buy/break stuff out of the pot at a value set by the person who chucked it in the pot. They get 50% if that happens.
Start it in the bay area, craigslist v2 but with the nightmare of inventory.
August 14th, 2008 at 10:38 am
We all cannot support well stocked personal museums of artifacts……
August 14th, 2008 at 11:07 am
“When you sell off your stuff, expect the going rate to be 25% or less of what you spent for it.”
Unless you bought used things to begin with. I’m the 3rd owner of my car, and the 3rd owner of my couch. Even if I never sell it, I’ll never lose much money on a $200 sofa. Throw a blanket over it and nobody knows it’s not brand new.
Buying new is the biggest sham in this country. If “new car smell” was an option (cost: $10,000), nobody would get it.
August 14th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
well it is said wise you should possess things but not let the things possess you. owning stuff is cool, but letting it take a good chunk of piece of you is not cool at all.
likewise, one should let things go and not get attached to any particular stuff.
Rahuls last blog post..First Vice President of Nepal… Step Down
August 15th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Interesting post. I’ve gone through a similar process some time ago and sold most of my stuff or gave it away to friends or family. The inital idea came from Paul Graham’s essay about “Stuff” http://paulgraham.com/stuff.html.
There’s also the “100 THING CHALLENGE” here (http://bit.ly/1HU56T), which is also very interesting.
August 17th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Christine,
Thanks for the site.
Allison,
I have also traded a 2-BR place in L.V. for a tiny room-’n'-bath in Henderson. The $400/month I save are going into my 401(k) account. Jeez, if I could get at that dough, it might just go like water. No room for junk, of course.
August 18th, 2008 at 5:32 am
everytime i go to buy a dvd or peice of crappy jewelery for example i imagine my overseas saving fund and it being less 20 dollars, and it stops me from buying things i dont really need.