What to Say When You’re Quitting

With my Q-Day just 28 days away, I’m starting to wonder how exactly I will resign my position.

There are a couple of things I want to accomplish. I don’t want to burn bridges. I don’t want to alienate people. I don’t want to get into too much detail, I just want out. I’m not quitting for another job, or a better cubicle. I am moving abroad, traveling, reinventing my life completely. It’s something I’m not sure HR will understand. On exit interview forms, do they have a checkbox for “Blowing up your life, in order to travel the world endlessly?”

My Strategy

The key to quitting with grace is to resign in such a way as to make it clear you are not just looking for a salary bump while at the same time confirming how little your decision has to do with them—it’s personal. That way you can spend your last two weeks, basking in the glow of impending freedom, without the uncomfortable conversations about ‘what it would take to keep you’ or ‘what can we change to make things better?’ No instead, I plan on taking long lunches with colleagues, getting my goodbye cake and finally leaving, sorry to go, but happy to have know them.

So what to say?

Nothing. I am quitting. That’s all you need to know. It’s me, not you.

Blame the Spouse. I am quitting so I can move to Spain with my husband. Vague stuff about an opportunity my husband has there. (Opportunity to eat tapas!)

Tell the truth. I am quitting to start a new career as a writer. Please don’t mock me. (I work in software so this is akin to saying I want to blow bubbles for a living).

So what would you say to keep the peace? Or would you march in there and say, “I quit, this place sucks!”

Vote for your favorite or offer suggestions in the comments.